"I dropped out of medical school"

Aaryn S Gray
Maybe I'm just mean, but I don't want to continue seeing this guy because he decided he 'doesn't have the drive to finish school'. Vrrroop. Somebody just screwed up the record player. What do ya'll think?

Savoir Faire
So what does this mean? Your dream of dating a doctor has gone up in smoke?

Aaryn S Gray
No, I just don't really respect guys that have no drive in life. He didn't say he had any other plans...so what does he plan on doing in life? I'm not going to support some guy when I'm done with school. They better be financially independent, even if it's living on student loans.

Unlikely Unicorn
They better be financially independent, even if it's living on student loans.Hahaha! Living on student loans does NOT equal financial independence!! Hahaha!

Aaryn S Gray
I need a guy that is driven in life. I had a boyfriend that smoked a lot of we ed and didn't do a whole heyll of a lot, and I can't stand that.

debtBgon
Did he drop out of school completely or just med school? I'm sure med school isn't a walk in the park and maybe he decided it wasn't what he wanted to do. That doesn't mean he can't go into another field and earn a degree in something else. I think you should give it time to see what he is going to do. He already made a huge decision in dropping out of med school.

Aaryn S Gray
I don't know. Now I really don't trust him, because he lied to me up to this point about it. Maybe he's simply impersonating a medical student. I don't know him very well, so it could very well be. Geez, that makes me feel like a total **** when it comes to judge of character.

DesiGal
Hey Aaryn: Just a suggestion.....maybe going forward, you should start focussing more on the PERSON and his CHARACTER than his profession. Once you fall into the fantasy of dating someone for WHAT they do for a living versus WHO they are, it is so easy to ignore some of the glaring facts/negatives about that person. My sister is a doctor and every time I go visit her at work, I see a ton of docs there and MOST of them seem extremely attractive because of the fact that they are all surgeons. Once you have a bad experience in life, like me going thru one divorce, I don't care if someone is a doctor or a big shot entrepreneur, as long as it is someone who is honest, sincere, has a decent paying job, then everything else should be about WHO he is and not where he works or what he does. Hope this helps!!

Aaryn S Gray
I knew people were going to judge me, and assume that I all I liked about him was his profession, but I'm studying to be in the medical field myself, and I'm attracted to science/medical nerds. Maybe you shouldn't judge before you have more data.

hellogoodbye12
Is this the guy who was going to hook you up with free new tires for your bike a few days ago? Didn't you guys barely started seeing eachother less than a week ago?I mean the one you mention here ----> http://boards.live.com/Lifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=485408

PNW_Woman
Well, just because he's not in med school doesn't mean that he's going to be a loser for life. Maybe he's have some other profession and support himself just fine. You make it sound like it's either med school or loserville... Plus why are you jumping into conclusions of supporting him already? Isn't it just the first date or two? How do you know if you're gonna stick together for the long haul? Maybe you'll realize that the two of you are not compatible, or maybe you'll meet someone else you'll like better, or maybe he'll like someone else better. That's the purpose of of the initial stages of dating - getting to know one another, rather than complicating and convoluting it with "the future".

alvvingrrl
I can understand what you mean. I have a good friend who is dating WAY below her usual standards. In this I mean, they live together, but he doesn't work. She not only pays ALL their bills, but takes him on vacations too. She graduated from UCLA, only dated guys with ambition and then she ends up with this guy. He is nice, don't get me wrong, but just below her standards. Staying home all day playing video games generally isn't her type.

Guuuut
I'm not going to support some guy when I'm done with school. But you would expect a man to support YOU! Why is it that men that don't work are slackers and women that don't work are stay at home spouses. It takes a lot of courage to walk away from Medical School and frankly with the state of medicine today it has got to be a lousy career, unless you are really all about helping humanity. MDs are nothing but technicians these days, everything they do is prescribed by HMOs. As soon as Hilary introduces a National Medical Program, the salaries of MDs will plummet. That sucking sound you hear is the sound of MD's salaries leaving their wallets

Oh Kay
Didn't you guys barely started seeing eachother less than a week ago?She got the new tires, now she's done.

Danger Russ
That sucking sound you hear is the sound of MD's salaries leaving their walletsOh god! So now all the eligible bachelors will have to go to Law School? Its gonna be slim pickins from here on...

Guuuut
He is nice, don't get me wrong, but just below her standards. Staying home all day playing video games generally isn't her type.Maybe he is well endowed in other places beyond ambition!!! But again, it is acceptable for a man to date and marry below his level and to support females to do nothing, but not for females.

PNW_Woman
But you would expect a man to support YOU! Why is it that men that don't work are slackers and women that don't work are stay at home spouses. Stay at home spouses are not lazy, just because they don't bring in the paycheck! They run and manage the household, have more time to decide on food/nutrition, have more time to spend with their family, decide on the most cost-effective ways to purchase food and supplies since everyone's being supported on one income. I have a homemaker friend who's very helpful in telling me where the good sales are. Otherwise I'l be paying more, since I work 40 hours a week and don't have the time to clip coupons. Same should go for men - my father now cooks and cleans quite efficiently since he retired. Mom is still working. Now each time I visit them I see that their house is much more organized and "sparkling" than when both my parents were working full-time. My father also does groceries from places where it's much cheaper than the regular supermarkets. I don't think that stay-at-home spouses are not slackers, unless they're just on the Internet a lot and beating to p0rn all the time instead of loading the dishwasher, mopping the floors, etc.

PNW_Woman
Whoops, I meant " I don't think that stay-at-home spouses are slackers".

Danger Russ
unless they're just on the Internet a lot and beating to p0rn all the time instead of loading the dishwasher, mopping the floors, etc.If I was a stay at home spouse and my wife was a doctor, I think I could squeeze all of these things into an 8 hour day...

Guuuut
How about if they spend their time shopping for Coach purses, getting pedis and manis, going to the spa? Are these productive activities or the female equivalent of playing video games????

Danger Russ
the female equivalent of playing video games????Oh, snap! What does Oprah have to say about this?

Guuuut
No matter what you say PNW there is a double standard for women and men. Men have to be employed and productive for women to consider them human.

Danger Russ
I could stay home all day and fix the car, fix the plumbing, mow the lawn, renovate the house, clean the gutters, but nooooooooooo, this is all stuff that men do on the weekend, during the football game.

PNW_Woman
How about if they spend their time shopping for Coach purses, getting pedis and manis, going to the spa?Usually middle-class homemaker women don't have enough disposable cash to go shopping for Coach purses, manis and pedis. Usually they're gifts from hubby, family and friends. Most middle-class homemaker women are dropping kids off to soccer practice, then piano lessons, then rushing to PTA meetings, etc. When they do get the good stuff, it's usually on sale, discounted, or with gift certificates. That's the majority. Sure, there's a minority of homemakers who buy extravagant things, but then they fight over the bills with their hubbies, since middle-class income only goes so far. Usually it's the rich who can lead more pampered lives and afford to go shopping with their friends in the daytime while their investment banker or CEO hubbies are at work or out of town.

PNW_Woman
No matter what you say PNW there is a double standard for women and men. Men have to be employed and productive for women to consider them human.You're right about that, but attitudes now are changing a little due to the ecomonic conditions nowadays. During the last recession about five or six years ago, many men lost their jobs while their wives could work on. The men stayed at home and took care of the household then, while pushing resumes online at the same time. Of course, society will still look down on men who stay at home, but during tough economic times it may not matter who's th breadwinner or not. Anyone who wins the bread then is fine.

Unlikely Unicorn
the state of medicine today it has got to be a lousy career, unless you are really all about helping humanity. MDs are nothing but technicians these days, everything they do is prescribed by HMOs.Oh Lord, Guuuut, don't get me started on this subject...!!! And I agree there is definitely a double standard in place. If I met a fantastic man who was willing to be a stay-at-home househusband, and we could afford to live on my income, that would be wonderful. I'm not very domestic, and I HATE housework, so if my maid could also be my husband...well, that could be a satisfying solution.

Danger Russ
if my maid could also be my husband...well, that could be a satisfying solution.How 80's of you...

Unlikely Unicorn
Danger, I loved that show! I was really only joking, but if I found the right man, circumstances allowed, and he wanted to stay at home and do those things...well, just call me Angela!

Guuuut
I was really only joking, but if I found the right man, circumstances allowed, and he wanted to stay at home and do those things.But what would the family and friends think? He's just staying home to play video games and watch ****!! What a lousy excuse for a man, letting his wife work like that while he sits at home on his butt!

Danger Russ
But what would the family and friends think?If I remember correctly, Tony's biggest problem was convincing the other housekeepers in the neighborhood that he wasn't gay...

Guuuut
Usually middle-class homemaker women don't have enough disposable cash to go shopping for Coach purses, manis and pedis. Usually they're gifts from hubby, family and friends. Most middle-class homemaker women are dropping kids off to soccer practice, then piano lessons, then rushing to PTA meetings, etc. Operative word is usually. Just as not every man is staying home to watch **** and play video games. I know that the stay at home mom works her butt off, I see them everyday in my little world. But to broadly paint every stay at home bf/husband as a slacker ticks me off. My neighbor stays home and he manages the household and kids AND he has great palm trees!!

PNW_Woman
Guuuut, Ever wonder why the term "soap opera" was coined for daytime drama watched by homemakers? Because they were doing something with soap, e.g., cleaning while also glancing at the screen. But I've never heard of a "leaders-gutters p0rn", or "shoveling naughtydrama" or "tire hotdramas".

Guuuut
Soap operas are female ****. Men like it to be more explicit.

jillraye
I would have a hard time being married to a stay-at-home-dad, with me bringing home the bacon.

Danger Russ
Actually the etymology of "soap opera" is from the multitudes of soap and detergent commercials that they play during the show. I'm sure if more men were home during the day they would have more commercials targeted at them, like Girls-Gone-Wild et al.

Guuuut
I would have a hard time being married to a stay-at-home-dad, with me bringing home the bacon. Sexist!!