A REAL topic about virginity

Kendra_is_Kendra
While waiting for a friend the other day in a bookstore I started reading a book called "Virgin" which was quite interesting. It raised a few questions in my mind over the nature of virginity.One, what is a virgin? Really? If you have only oral sex, are you? How about anal? What if you're a man in these instances? Is a man who's only had anal sex REALLY a virgin?And then it questioned the whole hymen thing as a way to regulate women's sex lives, and just how unreliable the hymen really is. It can break easily or require surgery to open. It can be many different shapes or consistencies. It has no use, but is rather a piece of the vagina that changes over a female's life, even if she never has sex.Human beings are the only ones who care about the hymen, as many animals have one, and many seem to think virginity is a tangible thing which only seems to be important in the matter of losing it.People mistakenly associate a bride's white wedding dress with her virginity, religions try to shame people into chastity, the Greeks began pairing first sex with the wedding day as a mark of adulthood, not morality. Interesting how concepts and beliefs change, right?What are everyone's thoughts on this? Especially the initial questions. What really is virginity? Why is it so important? Why so much emphasis on a hymen?

Oh Kay
I think sex is sex and if you've had sex (other than forced) you aren't a virgin. Hymens can be lost in your childhood, they are no indication of anything. Did you know the original white wedding dress had nothing to do with purity? It was because women wouldn't waste money on a white dress, they were too hard to keep clean & impractical, only the rich could afford to waste money on something that impractical. It was a sign of wealth, not purity.

PrometheusReborn
let's make this simple.a virgin has a tight ****.guys like tight ****.guys like knowing that she hasn't **** every guy within the tri-state area.no matter how it looks. she waited. and gave it to you. the rest is just jelly.

Oh Kay
within the tri-state areaWhat about the Four Corner area?

SultryD
What is a virgin? Someone who has never had sex. If you have only oral sex, are you? No. Technically you are still a virgin. How about anal? ehh.... I don't know. Is a man who's only had anal sex REALLY a virgin? No . He is not a virgin. He is having homosexual sex. Its still sex.

Sissy_1
a virgin has a tight ****.So do women who have never had children. no matter how it looks. she waited. and gave it to you.There it is...right there.

SultryD
I agree with Prom. It's really quite simple.

Kendra_is_Kendra
no matter how it looks. she waited. and gave it to you. Ah, but has she given her anus to another man before?Methinks the anal sex is a loss of virginity. Oral sex too, in a spiritual way, since I don't believe virginity is an existing physical thing that can be singled out. It's the active choice to have a form of sex. For lesbians it is an actual loss of virginity. Even though some lesbians may never go through vaginal penetration, the choice begin their sex life was made.

Oh Kay
Is a man who's only had anal sex REALLY a virgin? No . He is not a virgin. He is having homosexual sex. Its still sex.Why would a man having sex with another man be different than a woman having oral sex with a man or a woman, for that matter? Do you see the word sex in both descriptions? Is one body part still entering another body part? Yes! Nice try on getting all the little floozies who go down on the football team in the parking lot off the hook though.

PrometheusReborn
here's a little help for some of the **** that frequent this board and wonder why they can't seem to get any **** going with any guy. or why they attract the worst of peoples. there are a few things. the ****. and the virgin.these are on a slider scale. at opposite ends. most guys. want someone close to the virgin side. maybe not all the way. since we like it when a woman knows what to do with our ****. and other body parts. but a ****. we treat like a ****. that is. we **** her. and we don't think twice about her. that is what she is there for.and it stems from this idea of trust and uniqueness. everyone wants to feel special in the queer way that sounds. so when a girl **** a lot of guys. and she **** you. you know. i am just another. and intuitively. you don't grow attached. because you know what type of **** she is. the girl may think. this is the one. this is the guy i want to be with. but the guy knows she probably thought that with every guy she ****. and even if the guy doesn't know. he suspects it. so he doesn't care. he knows you will find another guy to ****. feel the same things. and be on your merry way. he treats you the way you are supposed to be treated.bitch all you want. cry and moan and wonder how the **** this happened. but you all **** yourself up. if you can't give that guy that unique feeling. somehow. then you'll be paddling with your mouth. and most likely gagging.

Kendra_is_Kendra
I love when Prom participates Kay, isn't this like what you were saying the other day?

quickblade14
And if you've just 'given" oral sex, and never had it performed on you, and no penetration - are you still a virgin? Email Bill Clinton - he'll know. I think it goes back to the belly button theory myself.

Kendra_is_Kendra
most guys. want someone close to the virgin side. maybe not all the way. since we like it when a woman knows what to do with our ****. and other body parts. This is something I have often figured, actually. The men who hold out for a virgin I think are self-righteous. Unless they've never had sex either, in which case he's not asking for anything he's not prepared to offer, himself.But I think it's natural for most men to want someone for the long term who hasn't had everybody. Of course some men just plain don't care. Or don't care when it comes to a woman they really, really want. Exceptions are everywhere.

quickblade14
If there are exceptions, there are no rules.

Kendra_is_Kendra
I think it goes back to the belly button theory myself.What is this?

Kendra_is_Kendra
If there are exceptions, there are no rules.And here you are typing in English. And look, I've started two sentences with a conjunction. Weighty assumption you've made-- and look! e before i but not after c. Exceptions are everywhere and there are generalities enough to consider them rules in a loose-termed kind of way.

Oh Kay
Kay, isn't this like what you were saying the other day?Yes, exactly that. And this is why Prom is my favorite guy on the board. We think alike.

kerplunkLYN
bitch all you want. cry and moan and wonder how the **** this happened. but you all **** yourself up. if you can't give that guy that unique feeling. somehow. then you'll be paddling with your mouth. and most likely gagging.Awesome. I agree with prom. But, I must say...I probably swing on the **** side of the spectrum! I'm destined to be alone for ever!

quickblade14
Belly button theory - women have an "inny" and consider sex more intimate and involving the "whole of themselves".Men have an "outty" - and putting it in something doesn't make it more important than it was while hanging out by itself.

SultryD
Look Here this is what I posted on CG's thread. It ties into this topic of Virginity and How Men Are Crazy. My Ex:When we met he was THRILLED at the fact that I was a virgin and he PURSED me HARDCORE. We dated for an entire year. We became best friend. We were literally attached at the hip. We were always together. Finally we had sex..after a year . He was my first. Shortly after he started talking BS about how the woman he was going to marry was going to be a virgin. he was going to marry a virgin yadda yadda yadda..and how I was his first virgin. It was then I realized he had mental problems.

Socal1962
most guys. want someone close to the virgin side. maybe not all the way. since we like it when a woman knows what to do with our ****. and other body parts. This would maybe be applicable for young people but when you get to be a certain age this isn't realistic. People marry, have kids, divorce. I don't think older men want a **** either, but if they expect a woman to be close to the virgin side, ain't gonna happen.

Oh Kay
, but if they expect a woman to be close to the virgin side, ain't gonna happen.Well I'm not even close to the virgin side, but I'm not out screwing strangers because I have an itch either....there's a difference between having a history & having a past.

lightmike
Okay, why would two adults who are planning on marrying wait? I know someone (woman) who has never "had sex", but who has a boyfriend who lives with her. I understand from someone that knows her well that "he is taken care of", but she is waiting until she is married. I think the whole notion is crazy, especially if she is giving him relief, even if it is with just her hands (I'm guessing)...So I wonder what is really going on in her head and what kind of a relationship they will have if he finds out someday she has other issues about sex or her vagina that caused her waiting. I personally feel people should find out if they are sexually compatible before marriage. I don't mean "I like blow jobs but she doesn't give them", but some men are too big for smaller women, and some women aren't satisfied by a pencil sized tool. How good can a relationship be if sex isn't comfortable for one or the other? I don't think love conquers all.

Kendra_is_Kendra
This would maybe be applicable for young people but when you get to be a certain age this isn't realistic. Yeah, I agree. I think someone who is single in the 40s or 50s, who's been married or has dated, whatever, the number is likely to be noticeably higher than someone half her age, even if she's been choosey.he was going to marry a virgin yadda yadda yadda..and how I was his first virgin. It was then I realized he had mental problems.See, that is insane. Waiting a year is hardly ****. And him holding his partner to a harder standard than himself is BS. And not relaying to you he wanted a virgin until after he slept with was you also retarded. Like a secret sex test he participated in you failing.Men aren't insane, but that one certainly was.

Kendra_is_Kendra
there's a difference between having a history & having a past.That's a good way of putting it.

SultryD
I know someone (woman) who has never "had sex", but who has a boyfriend who lives with her. I understand from someone that knows her well that "he is taken care of", but she is waiting until she is married. WHAT?!I've come to the conclusion that some people are clearly insane. She lives with her boyfriend whom she doesn't have sex with but she gives him a hand job every night.. ..??? Either A. She's a straight Liar.B. I can't think of a B.

Socal1962
there's a difference between having a history & having a past.I agree which is also why I said they didn't want a ****. Contrary to my board persona, I'm not a **** either, I just play one on these boards.

Que_Sera_118
As far as the whole wh0re/"virgin" theory goes, I tend to agree with Prom, but I also don't feel that it has anything to do with your actual number. I think its a woman's behavior that identifies how she will be looked at. The girl who puts out on the first date, or the woman who's match profile is very sexually suggestive, those women will probably be identified as ****-ish. If all you can convey to a man is that you like and are good at $ex, that's all they will identify you with. I think to be on the virgin side, you need to show that you don't always give it up, that $ex is something special to you.

Kendra_is_Kendra
I just play one on these boards. I only play one on TV.

kerplunkLYN
I'm only a **** in brief phases, does that count? Like my "****" vacation?

Socal1962
I'm only a **** in brief phases, does that count? Like my "****" vacation?hehehe

Irish_Redhead
If you have only oral sex, are you? No. Technically you are still a virginSo are lesbians virgins? I think they would have something to say about that statement!

SultryD
I have a friend who claims to be a virgin. Well she is a virgin. I believe her . The thing about her is she gives no man the time of day. None. Even the ones she does like. It's really weird. Usually, when a guy tells her he likes her, wants to date her, yadda yadda, She says no but she keeps them as friends. She strings thems along (some of them for years) as friends meanwhile in the back of the guys head, he's thinking "She knows I like her. She keeps me around, Therefore she's into me". And I end up feeling bad for these guys. They're such suckers. Eventually they stop being her friend and she finds herself another friend. She has a new friend.. I call him the victim. He likes her. He told her he wants to marry her (most of them do). But again she doesn't like him in that way and hence he is her friend........weird right? Oh and she doesn't go on actual dates with anybody.. never a one on one date.

Socal1962
She has a new friend.. I call him the victim. He likes her. He told her he wants to marry her (most of them do). But again she doesn't like him in that way and hence he is her friend........weird right? Oh and she doesn't go on actual dates with anybody.. never a one on one date. Maybe she's a lesbian but isn't ready to come out.

Kendra_is_Kendra
I'm only a **** in brief phases, does that count? Like my "****" vacation?So long as no one's the wiser... Seriously, though, it doesn't sound like you're looking for any old sex these days and it was just a **** vacation. Love that phrase, by the way. Anyhow, making it more of a personal policy to only sleep with guys you give a damn about and who give a damn about you-- I think your past sex choices start to matter less.If you keep your number to yourself, which is your prerogative, and don't take any more "**** vacations" I would say your past is in the past. Especially since you're capable of finding someone willing to offer more than his junk, and you have more than your junk to offer in return.I don't think a person's past choices need follow them around once they've opted for another path and are actively pursuing it. You know?

Kendra_is_Kendra
So are lesbians virgins? I think they would have something to say about that statement!Yeah! No guff, eh?I made that mistake once when I was 18 or so and when a gay friend talked to me about losing her virginity, I expressed confusion: You mean you slept with a man?I was corrected on the spot