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A funny :)
gsxr750
THE BRIDGE>> A man riding his Harley was riding along> a California beach when suddenly The sky clouded> above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord> said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me> in all ways, I will grant you One desire.">> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a> bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over Anytime I want."> The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think> of the Enormous challenges for that kind of> undertaking; the supports required Reaching the> bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it> would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural> resources. I can do it, but it is Hard for me to> justify your desire for worldly things. Take a> little more Time and think of something that could> possibly help mankind." The biker Thought about it> for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish> that I and All men could understand women; I want to> know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when> she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries,> what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and> how I can make a woman truly happy.">> The Lord replied,>>>> "You want two lanes or four on that> bridge?"
Rican_Gentleman
What UP GSXR, That was funny!
gsxr750
Not much RicanG, are you still keeping it real?? I am!!!
Rican_Gentleman
Yeah I am......Board is a little slow today though.
gsxr750
Yes its slow. I guess everyone's in love for the holidays so there's no drama??
alvvingrrl
i liked the joke. The Man Etiquette TestHere's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Simple Duties You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1) You leave the toilet seat up. (-5) You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0) When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1) When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2) You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5) But return with beer. (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5) You pummel it with a six iron. (+10) It's her father. (-10) Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party. (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2) Named Tiffany. (-4) Tiffany is a dancer. (-6) Tiffany has implants. (-8) Her Birthday You take her out to dinner. (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1) It is a sports bar. (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)A Night Out With The Boys And the pal is happily married. (-4) Or frighteningly single. (-7) And he drives a Mustang. (-10) With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)A Night Out You take her to a movie. (+2) You take her to a movie she likes. (+4) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called Death Cop 3. (-3) Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too." (-800)The Big Question She asks, "Do I look fat?". (-5) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35)Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0) When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10) She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep. (-20) ScoringStart with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.
alvvingrrl
Dang. Tough crowd.
gsxr750
THE BRIDGE>> A man riding his Harley was riding along> a California beach when suddenly The sky clouded> above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord> said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me> in all ways, I will grant you One desire.">> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a> bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over Anytime I want."> The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think> of the Enormous challenges for that kind of> undertaking; the supports required Reaching the> bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it> would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural> resources. I can do it, but it is Hard for me to> justify your desire for worldly things. Take a> little more Time and think of something that could> possibly help mankind." The biker Thought about it> for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish> that I and All men could understand women; I want to> know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when> she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries,> what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and> how I can make a woman truly happy.">> The Lord replied,>>>> "You want two lanes or four on that> bridge?"
Rican_Gentleman
What UP GSXR, That was funny!
gsxr750
Not much RicanG, are you still keeping it real?? I am!!!
Rican_Gentleman
Yeah I am......Board is a little slow today though.
gsxr750
Yes its slow. I guess everyone's in love for the holidays so there's no drama??
alvvingrrl
i liked the joke. The Man Etiquette TestHere's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Simple Duties You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1) You leave the toilet seat up. (-5) You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0) When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1) When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2) You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5) But return with beer. (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5) You pummel it with a six iron. (+10) It's her father. (-10) Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party. (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2) Named Tiffany. (-4) Tiffany is a dancer. (-6) Tiffany has implants. (-8) Her Birthday You take her out to dinner. (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1) It is a sports bar. (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)A Night Out With The Boys And the pal is happily married. (-4) Or frighteningly single. (-7) And he drives a Mustang. (-10) With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)A Night Out You take her to a movie. (+2) You take her to a movie she likes. (+4) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called Death Cop 3. (-3) Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too." (-800)The Big Question She asks, "Do I look fat?". (-5) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35)Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0) When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10) She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep. (-20) ScoringStart with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.
alvvingrrl
Dang. Tough crowd.
gsxr750
THE BRIDGE>> A man riding his Harley was riding along> a California beach when suddenly The sky clouded> above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord> said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me> in all ways, I will grant you One desire.">> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a> bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over Anytime I want."> The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think> of the Enormous challenges for that kind of> undertaking; the supports required Reaching the> bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it> would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural> resources. I can do it, but it is Hard for me to> justify your desire for worldly things. Take a> little more Time and think of something that could> possibly help mankind." The biker Thought about it> for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish> that I and All men could understand women; I want to> know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when> she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries,> what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and> how I can make a woman truly happy.">> The Lord replied,>>>> "You want two lanes or four on that> bridge?"
Rican_Gentleman
What UP GSXR, That was funny!
gsxr750
Not much RicanG, are you still keeping it real?? I am!!!
Rican_Gentleman
Yeah I am......Board is a little slow today though.
gsxr750
Yes its slow. I guess everyone's in love for the holidays so there's no drama??
alvvingrrl
i liked the joke. The Man Etiquette TestHere's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Simple Duties You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1) You leave the toilet seat up. (-5) You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0) When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1) When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2) You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5) But return with beer. (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5) You pummel it with a six iron. (+10) It's her father. (-10) Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party. (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2) Named Tiffany. (-4) Tiffany is a dancer. (-6) Tiffany has implants. (-8) Her Birthday You take her out to dinner. (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1) It is a sports bar. (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)A Night Out With The Boys And the pal is happily married. (-4) Or frighteningly single. (-7) And he drives a Mustang. (-10) With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)A Night Out You take her to a movie. (+2) You take her to a movie she likes. (+4) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called Death Cop 3. (-3) Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too." (-800)The Big Question She asks, "Do I look fat?". (-5) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35)Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0) When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10) She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep. (-20) ScoringStart with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.
alvvingrrl
Dang. Tough crowd.