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A little advice please
Emmakj
I dated a guy very seriously for the past month and a half. We had a great relationship, but a couple times we had some heated arguments. This past weekend he broke it off with me because he felt he wasn't mature enough for a serious relationship at the moment, and he didn't like the hold he had over my emotions.We have both agreed to be friends. We both agreed that the timing just wasn't right. And our feelings for each other haven't changed, it's just we both have some growing up to do. We also both agree that we hope it does work out for us in the future. My question is, could we try casual dating? I don't see how it would hurt. If we both still have feelings, it seems it'd be a way to have each other but nothing serious. That way we would have the time needed to get where we need to be in life. I want to bring this up to him, but I dont know how. Any help is greatly appreciated. :)
AlwaysAshley
Hey emma the only problem with casual dating is that he isn't your official guy. but if you can handle the fact that you probably wont be the only girl he'll kiss, etc. and hate then i don't see anything wrong with it. the main issues for me in this situation, personally, would be i'd get too jealous.
Unlikely Unicorn
You just need to be careful that you are not trying to hold onto something that he wishes to end. It seems like he may be trying to let you down easy by saying that he hopes it does work out for you both in the future. Agreeing to be friends seems to acknowledge that you just don't have what it requires to be romantically involved. If your feelings toward him are deeper than his toward you, I think you will only end up hurting yourself because your expectations and hope for an eventual happy ending will still be there.
AlwaysAshley
only girl he'll kiss, etc. and hate TYPO: ***********DATE*********** not hate, sorry!!
Emmakj
We discussed our feelings last night. He told me that he still loves me and I firmly believe that. He told me he felt we had a real connection and that we truly had something, but he isn't mature enough for something serious. His problem is that he thinks he isn't mature enough to quickly get over little things that might happen in the relationship. That is basically the only reason for us breaking up. His reasoning was that if he could just hurt me once instead of hurting me numerous times then I'd be better off.I would be jealous of other girls, but he has no plans of starting anything with anybody. Also, he's a good guy so many girls just put him into the friend category. It's actually hard for him to find girls to date.
AlwaysAshley
but he isn't mature enough for something serious.How old are you two??
Emmakj
I'm 20, he's 21. He's kinda new to dating. He didn't start dating until he was out of high school.
Unlikely Unicorn
I'm still interpreting your posts as if you have feelings for this guy. No matter what his reasons for breaking it off between you, the fact remains that he feels a need to put emotional distance between you. If you choose to date him knowing this - casually or otherwise - you will probably get hurt.
lemon988
It's really not possible to casually date someone immediately after seriously dating them. Your feelings are obviously involved and that makes it not casual. And try not to focus too much on the idea that things might work out someday, because that will just prevent you from moving on, and as Unicorn mentioned, there's a good chance he is only giving you that hope because he's trying to let you down easy.
Unlikely Unicorn
Oh, and you are 20 and 21 and have been dating for a month and a half. It's doubtful that he truly loves you (or that you love him). You're both young. Don't be in such a hurry to fall in love.
AlwaysAshley
he feels a need to put emotional distance between you. If you choose to date him knowing this - casually or otherwise - you will probably get hurt.i agree. if i loved someone this is the last thing i would want to do is put distance between me and the person i cared so much about.
kerplunkLYN
I dated a guy very seriously for the past month and a half.A month and a half isn't long enough to be serious about anything, IMO.
Aaryn S Gray
Casual dating just isn't a good idea. Someone always ends up getting hurt. I refuse to do it, with the exception of one time, right out of a relationship. It's hard to continue a 'casual' relationship, because something bad is bound to happen, and screw the whole deal up. I just had to end it with someone that didn't want anything 'serious' - and I honestly didn't want to, I'm mean with guys, because if you give them too many options, they turn into punkarses.
Aaryn S Gray
Casual dating just isn't a good idea. Someone always ends up getting hurt. I refuse to do it, with the exception of one time, right out of a relationship. It's hard to continue a 'casual' relationship, because something bad is bound to happen, and screw the whole deal up. I just had to end it with someone that didn't want anything 'serious' - and I honestly didn't want to, I'm mean with guys, because if you give them too many options, they turn into punkarses.