A sign of things to come??

Simply_Complicated
I've been dating my bf for six months... great guy... I think. He's done a lot of bf hall-of-fam worthy acts, like showing up at my house with a new dress and shoes for me (correct size!), babysitter arranged and paid for, and whisking me away on a surprize evening... or cooking breakfast in bed for me... or, my favorite, taking two days off work to stay home with my sick 20month old so I could go back to work. Sounds great, doesn't he? That's what I thought... until yesterday. We basically live together and I cook dinner almost every night. I get home from work, cook, then leave to go pick up my daughter from her dad. While I'm gone, he gets home from work and waits for me to get back for us to all eat together. Last night though, when I got home with my daughter, he had eaten without us... so I fixed our plates. I also poured a glass of wine for myself. He said, "Do you really think you need to be eating that and drinking wine when you could stand to lose a little weight?" What?! He had never said anything like that before. Then he refused to let me watch the LSU football game (I'm a huge fan - he knows this - and it's the first game of the season)... because he had something he wanted to watch? No, because I needed to get the dishes done and I could start a load of laundry or two as well. Excuse me?! Then, I wasn't feeling well and was tossing and turning in bed. After about 10 minutes he rolled over and told me to go get on the couch because I was keeping him awake. There was more to last night, but you get the jist of how he was acting. He's never acted that way before... where did it come from? What does it mean? Help!

Guuuut
Prince Charming turned back into a frog!

Pocah323
Ummm....no offense, it's your house...send him packing til he knows how to be a mature and decent human being.

Simply_Complicated
It was actually at his house...

quickblade14
If you'd step back and not take anything personally - you'd see he didn't buy you a dress and shoes, make you breakfast in bed, etc. etc. etc. He did those "actions' because doing it gratified him...or your response to it gratified him at the time.It'd be scripted manipulation if he did those things to get a particular reaction out of you - but nobody can know his intentions but him. So let's say he likes being the "knight in shining armor" for a short period of time.But what you're seeing now is the 'relationship king" - vs. Prince Charming. You're letting him live there (for free?!), you're having all this psuedo-family time (big mistake).and here's what has gone on - pervasively - you've been so delighted to be found attractive, and you've been so elated athis willingness to be around you and do nice things on occasion - that you've allowed him to have the priorities, values, standards, goals, and requirements in the relationship. Whatever YOU want, you make me feel so good...whatever YOU need, there's an "us" now and all my resources and abilities and time are put to "our" needs.You can expect more of this - but you also could have predicted it.anybody that would be around your children this early, anybody that would allow you as a single mother to do the providing on a single income budget of food, of additional utilities...that's called a "freeloader".This is not someone who wants to pay their own way, or do their own chores, or anything else of that nature....they charm their way into the door, and once in - they're counting on you not to know how to kick them out.For alot of years, i was just like you - and dragged my child thru it because of it. But......in one relationship - I was so him.......and looking back, I have shame and regret about my actions in that relationship. In the other relationships where I was a doormat, whipping post, scapegoat and provider - I can look back and realize I got what I asked for - but it wasn't what I thought I was asking for at the time.

Pocah323
It was actually at his house...Then move back to yours...I'm always surprised when people move in together after only knowing each other a short time! You have a 20 month old daughter...do you want her to grow up w/ visions of you getting taunted by your so-called "great guy"??

Oh Kay
This is exactly how they do it. They trick you into thinking they're great, then they pull out their true colors. But now he's got you. You depend on him. Oh, and I wouldn't let him near my daughter for all the dresses in the world. I'd NEVER leave him alone with my daughter. What man would take 2 days off of work to take care of a sick baby? Not even the Father of my kids. You know....maybe it wasn't you he was after. I'd get out now. Why are women so stupid to leave babies with men they barely know. We read about this **** in the paper everyday. Wake up.

Socal1962
quackblade, you are so full of ****. You're letting him live there (for free?!) you as a single mother to do the providing on a single income budget of food, of additional utilities...that's called a "freeloader".Where did she say he didn't pay for anything? She said he has a job and they were at his house. OP - don't listen to any thing in her post, she's an angry bitter woman who likes to put other people down.

magikspl
Oh wow, that is strange. Something is up, you don't go from one end of the scale to the other that extreme. I've seen people test their boundaries, but not like that! How did you respond to these requests?? Really sweet guys can get moody, but usually you can take care of that by asking what the hell is up with you, and usually they apologize and let you know what's goin on. Like work issues, family, etc. etc. I'd even go so far as maybe a medical explanation. You gotta update when you find out more.

Simply_Complicated
Kay1959, while I may be seeking advice on my relationship, make no mistake that I am a fully competent parent and would never expose my child to danger in anyway.... real or perceived. I have no cause to explain that portion of the situation to you however, to ease your mind that you will not being seeing my child on your local news, I worked from home those two days and he was just there to help care for her so I could be productive at my work.

Oh Kay
I am a fully competent parent and would never expose my child to danger in anyway....You left her alone with a man who is not her Father that you've been dating for 6 months. Don't give me that ****.

Jennifer37
It's bizarre that his true self didn't gradually emerge with a comment here, a comment there, increasing in serverity and assholishness. Instead he revealed himself in ONE DAY! Yikes. Say "Bye Bye". Fast.

Socal1962
Oh, and I wouldn't let him near my daughter for all the dresses in the worldWhy are women so stupid to leave babies with men they barely know. Somebody had an extra bowl of judgement for breakfast.

Simply_Complicated
Please refer to the line where I stated I worked from HOME those days... which would indicate I was at HOME with them... try to keep up Kay1959

Oh Kay
I don't believe you. I think you conveniently threw that in so nobody would think you're a bad mother. We've had conversations about people's handles on here. You, much2cute, are either 16 or delusional and this is why you get tricked by men. Let us know when he starts smacking you around, ok? Somebody had an extra bowl of judgement for breakfast.Nope, just the normal amount I have everyday.

trudyML
Get out. Go back to where you were living. Your child should be in a stable environment. Why expose her to a moody, controlling, manipulative figure? And abusers of this sort will put the good guy hat back on just long enough to reel you in. Be careful & get to a safe place. Good luck

Socal1962
Nope, just the normal amount I have everyday. I'm waiting to see how long before you call her a ****.

Oh Kay
I'm waiting to see how long before you call her a ****.I don't know if she's a **** or not. I'm not judging her for sleeping with the guy, I'm judging her for putting her child in danger. Oh yeah, he's a real sweet guy, so were all those guys that are in jail now for slamming their girlfriends babies against the wall for crying, or burning them for wetting their pants. I think the latest one put the baby in the microwave. I don't care who she sleeps with...her self respect is her own. That baby doesn't have a choice.

Simply_Complicated
Kay1959 I'm gratefull that it's not important for me to obtain your approval, nor do I need you to believe anything I do or do not say. It is obvious that you spend a good deal of your time doling ou negative advice to and passing unfounded judgement. My advice to you would be to put some of your efforts into yourself and use your know-it-all powers to ascertain the root of your issues... just an idea

pinstripe
Then he refused to let me watch the LSU football game (I'm a huge fan - he knows this - and it's the first game of the season)... because he had something he wanted to watch? No, because I needed to get the dishes done and I could start a load of laundry or two as well. Is this guy your boyfriend, or your parent? You can't watch TV until you finish your peas! My answer is yes, this is a sign of things to come, he might even be bi-polar, because he went from one extreme to another.

Oh Kay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWow42TCwzg

Oh Kay
My advice to you would be to put some of your efforts into yourself and use your know-it-all powers to ascertain the root of your issues... just an ideaI know the root of my issues. I was molested you stupid twit, so carry on. I hope you at least can afford the therapy.

Simply_Complicated
Ahh, and so you self heal by spreading your ill will towards all... nice.

Pocah323
It is obvious that you spend a good deal of your time doling ou negative advice to and passing unfounded judgement. How did you come to that conclusion?? From what she posted to you on your thread?? Read other threads and what Kay's posted...she doesn't dole out negative advice and pass out unfounded judgement. She calls them as she sees them!

Socal1962
I'm judging her for putting her child in danger. You have no idea whether she did or didn't. You assume too much sometimes.

Simply_Complicated
I definitely appreciate the constructive advice, and even criticism, I've received. I'm sure it is hard for the perfect among the group to understand that on occassion you need someone from the outside to look in, but most people have had a circumstance or two in their lives they sought a second opinion about. Opinions and advice given with care and in a helpful manner are received thusly. Anger and contempt breds the same.

Oh Kay
You have no idea whether she did or didn't. You assume too much sometimes.I am assuming nothing. I'm reading her post. "My favorite thing is when he offered to take two days off work to stay with my sick 20 month old so I could go back to work" Dumb broad.

kerplunkLYN
It is obvious that you spend a good deal of your time doling ou negative advice to and passing unfounded judgement. She may sound harsh but she has first hand experience. Just be careful. My advice to you would be to put some of your efforts into yourself and use your know-it-all powers to ascertain the root of your issues... just an ideaYou came on here to ask what should you do about this **** you are practically living with? Leave him. You have issues if you stay.

Oh Kay
Anger and contempt breds the same.I'm glad you recognize that, he's doing a great job right there in your happy little home.

kerplunkLYN
Ahh, and so you self heal by spreading your ill will towards all... nice. I hope you think of Kay and her advice the first time this guy punches you in the face!

Simply_Complicated
I am assuming nothing. I'm reading her post. "My favorite thing is when he offered to take two days off work to stay with my sick 20 month old so I could go back to work" Dumb broad. And the operative word in the sentence is....? That's right folks, "offered"

kerplunkLYN
Anger and contempt breds the same.Perfect! This is what you have to look forward to in your relationship!

kerplunkLYN
PS: The dress he got you, apparently wasn't the "correct size" since he thinks you could lose a few.

Socal1962
My favorite thing is when he offered to take two days off work to stay with my sick 20 month old so I could go back to work"Oh, now I see, yes, this automatically makes her a bad mother and him a pedophile.

Oh Kay
That's right folks, "offered" Back paddling! You let him and you know you did. Did you check out the link I posted? Hell no, too close to home. That poor man is now without his daughter because his idiot ex wife allowed her boyfriend to kill her.

Pocah323
If you don't like what people post, then don't start a thread. Everyone knows that when you start a thread, you are going to criticism of some kind. You wanted an honest opinion from everyone, & I'm pretty sure what everyone told you is sincere. If you're upset that no one told you to stay with him and give it another shot, then I don't know what to say. We've all experienced some part of what you're going through, and from our experience, we're giving you advice...