Advise needed

DP Hopeless
Hello,I have dated this man for 1 year. He is 53 dn I am 44. He avoids talking about marriage. What should I do? Leave or hang in there.

Irish_Redhead
Do you want to get married? YES - leaveNO - stay

Goose71
Well, if marriage is what you want out of a relationship, and he isn't in that mode, you might need to part ways. If it is something you can live without, by all means, enjoy what you have.

DP Hopeless
Thank you. I will probably leave and I am also preparing my mind set to do so.

time4menow
Well, one year is still not a long time for some. Are you together everyday?My man keeps saying the M word we have been together for 1 year (every day just about) and I still think it is too soon. I don't avoid talking about it, I'm just not ready again at this point. Someday yes, today or next week no.

quickblade14
Couldn't you deal iwth just living together...I can't really see why anybody over 40 gets married? It's a contract of legal liability. You have the right to leave your assets to whoeveryou wish when you die. If a person isn't financially solvent and self-sufficient by 40 they're a walking liability and chaos-monger, not a partner anyway.

Oh Kay
...I can't really see why anybody over 40 gets married?Me either. If a person isn't financially solvent and self-sufficient by 40 they're a walking liability and chaos-monger, not a partner anyway.I'd have to look up the definition of financially solvent, but I'd have to say I'm probably one of those. I suppose I'm a walking liability, but I resent the chaos monger statement. I don't invite chaos, my life isn't chaotic unless you want to call home & auto repairs chaotic. I pay my own bills, take care of myself, work for what I have and am fully prepared to work for the rest of my life if that's what I have to do. Getting married young & raising kids took some of my "career time". I guess that's the price we pay. I knew I should've asked for alimony.

b lunted
Invite him over to dinner and make sure you have the biggest, whitest, most flowing gown on when he comes over

PrometheusReborn
you are 44? you are dead anyway. who gives a **** what you do.

SultryD
LMAO @ Prom..ur an idiot.

quickblade14
I consider financially solvent to be living within ones means...whatever they are. Someone who is constantly in a state of crisis management, is always robbing peter to pay paul, due to lack of realistic expectations and preparedness.I think anybody living within their means, having the ability to have a life and enjoys their life....that's hardly crisis management.I just can't see why people would marry - as it presents more of a financial risk than an asset potential over 40.

Oh Kay
I consider financially solvent to be living within ones means...whatever they are. Oh, well then I'm that. I just don't see the reason for marrying at this age. I like my last name, it's MY last name, the name I was born with. I am not having anymore kids. I'm not sure what other reason anyone would have. Besides, weddings suck.

Sissy_1
Goose would say to get married for love.

trudyML
Being a bridesmaid really sucks.

quickblade14
This whole topic for me reminds of the statement 'young men go to war, old men negotiate." Makes sense, when thinking of war and peace and how to accomplish it. The older you are, if you're mature, love is not proven in statements and gestures and status quos.....it's present or its not, it's something you're experiencing or you're not, and other people aren't so much teh point.

Goose71
I just can't see why people would marry - as it presents more of a financial risk than an asset potential over 40.For love.......Now before everyone goes throwing things at me; yes I understand you don't want to just pick some loser in the crowd and take on all of their debt and risk giving up half of yours....Noted......BUT, if you and another are in love, and you want each other's companionship, I'd hate to break down a relationship into and "economic merger", or a business proposition....it's like a couple saying they want kids , but are waiting for the right time......There really is no "right time", and if that is the measuring stick you use, you will never have them.....

Goose71
Goose would say to get married for love.I know, how horrible of me.

Oh Kay
......BUT, if you and another are in love, and you want each other's companionship,I'm not sure what a marriage certificate has to do with that though.

Thats me A Fairy
Take a note from Sen. D's book and trap him into marrying you.

car35
I just went to the funeral Monday of a wonderful dear woman. She was 65 and had divorced 20 plus years ago. One of the things I absolutely loved about this woman was her absolute refusal to ever get married again. At the time of her death last week she had been with the same man for 16 years. The last 4 she finally agreed to live with him. But she never did marry him. Although once a year he would ask her too. It wasn't that she didn't love him - she had just decided that marriage was besides the point.

Nessa_Raye
Invite him over to dinner and make sure you have the biggest, whitest, most flowing gown on when he comes overSomehow I'm not sure this will help with the whole avoiding the "M" word

Sissy_1
Goose would say to get married for love.

trudyML
Being a bridesmaid really sucks.

quickblade14
This whole topic for me reminds of the statement 'young men go to war, old men negotiate." Makes sense, when thinking of war and peace and how to accomplish it. The older you are, if you're mature, love is not proven in statements and gestures and status quos.....it's present or its not, it's something you're experiencing or you're not, and other people aren't so much teh point.

Goose71
I just can't see why people would marry - as it presents more of a financial risk than an asset potential over 40.For love.......Now before everyone goes throwing things at me; yes I understand you don't want to just pick some loser in the crowd and take on all of their debt and risk giving up half of yours....Noted......BUT, if you and another are in love, and you want each other's companionship, I'd hate to break down a relationship into and "economic merger", or a business proposition....it's like a couple saying they want kids , but are waiting for the right time......There really is no "right time", and if that is the measuring stick you use, you will never have them.....

Goose71
Goose would say to get married for love.I know, how horrible of me.

Oh Kay
......BUT, if you and another are in love, and you want each other's companionship,I'm not sure what a marriage certificate has to do with that though.

Thats me A Fairy
Take a note from Sen. D's book and trap him into marrying you.

car35
I just went to the funeral Monday of a wonderful dear woman. She was 65 and had divorced 20 plus years ago. One of the things I absolutely loved about this woman was her absolute refusal to ever get married again. At the time of her death last week she had been with the same man for 16 years. The last 4 she finally agreed to live with him. But she never did marry him. Although once a year he would ask her too. It wasn't that she didn't love him - she had just decided that marriage was besides the point.

Nessa_Raye
Invite him over to dinner and make sure you have the biggest, whitest, most flowing gown on when he comes overSomehow I'm not sure this will help with the whole avoiding the "M" word