After checking....

veryopengal
Well a few of you disagreed with my checking my soon to be live-in's record. I still maintain it was the right thing to do. I did pay for his felony record and he has 7 prison "visits" all over 5 years each....4 active restraining orders and he I found his crack! I also found out several neighbors KNEW he was dealing and using. I have a job that requires a morals clause and was looking into moving so I could start using my foster care license. I would have lost EVERYTHING had I moved in with him. I don't regret looking into him before allowing him to be so close to my daughter.

b lunted
good work! now find a quality man

Thats me A Fairy
Thats good so who cares what anyones else thinks, we are just a bunch of strangers on a boards. (well mostly)

To be happy
I completely agree with checking out Mr. Possibility and have with my current guy. I have kids and there's is no way I want someone with a severe criminal record around my kids.

veryopengal
good work! now find a quality manI have chosen to enjoy some time alone thanks.......and I am going to go ahead and move anyway. I am a pretty decent person to spend some alone time with, so looks like I GET THE REMOTE!!!!

Oh Kay
I don't regret looking into him before allowing him to be so close to my daughter.Well I guess not! There had to be some kind of signs if he was this bad. Geez, I wouldn't want him around my kids either, and my kids are adults.

b lunted
I GET THE REMOTE!!!!victory is yours

veryopengal
There were warning signs...which IS why I checked. I knew there was a drug issue in the past, I did not know "past" to him meant in the past 90 days since his last conviction of possession. His "poor me" routine made me wary as well. All women had cheated on him, stole from him and "never did anything" for him. Turns out that is a BIG red flag of a controller. He had a hell of a temper over small things...such as bike riders on the street, someone being off by pennies at the store, a slow checker. People calling while he was asleep or did not want to talk. He did not get angry and mutter, he yelled at the top of his lungs and said he "just had a strong voice". No "next" for me.......just some time to grieve what I thought I had.

L_o_u_i_s_e
There were warning signs...which IS why I checked. I knew there was a drug issue in the past, I did not know "past" to him meant in the past 90 days since his last conviction of possession. His "poor me" routine made me wary as well. All women had cheated on him, stole from him and "never did anything" for him. Turns out that is a BIG red flag of a controller. He had a hell of a temper over small things...such as bike riders on the street, someone being off by pennies at the store, a slow checker. People calling while he was asleep or did not want to talk. He did not get angry and mutter, he yelled at the top of his lungs and said he "just had a strong voice". No "next" for me.......just some time to grieve what I thought I had. Seems like there were enough red flags to walk away regardless of whether or not he had a record, but if it made you feel better, that's a good thing.

Springfoam
Well a few of you disagreed with my checking my soon to be live-in's record. I still maintain it was the right thing to do. They did!? Today you better check on people's records. I do it all the time. kudos to you.

Springfoam
I look under people I know to see if they have a record at times. But I never pay for it. You should be able to get the info free if you type in "(your county's name) then county clerk of courts" Then it should come up.

kerplunkLYN
I'm not going to condone your actions or not. But, I will say, it seems like you were "missing" something. He had a criminal past, a previous drug problem, control and anger issues? I mean...where was the blatant WARNING!? And, I wonder why you didn't see it first.

slinky9
You did the right thing. Kudos to you for not ignoring the signs.

slinky9
You did the right thing. Kudos to you for not ignoring the signs.