Am I being too hasty and harsh?

love2hike
Guys out there ... if you're into a girl, won't you ask her out? What's the real deal with guys, phones, email and texting? My bff says I'm too hasty, that I don't give guys a chance to date me. As far as I see it, after a date you get 2-3 days to call me, if you don't, I'm moving on. This one guy I'm "dating" has been calling me and emailing me for the last two weeks. We had a fun first date, I'll give him that but no mention of another date. I don't want to blow the guy off but ... I like dates! I can chat on the phone and email my girlfriends! I'm about to delete his email and number from my phone. I don't do the "we can be friends deal."

kerplunkLYN
I think that's totally reasonable. I don't think I'd be too eager to go out with someone again after not hearing from them for a few days after our first date. But, if I liked him enough I might give him a second chance. I guess it depends. Now that I'm a little older, people have more obligations than they did in HS or college. So, I'm a bit more understanding now when people tell me they were busy. But back then, I would be like, busy what? Getting drunk?

sumcrzygal
How about texting him & asking him if he wants to get together? Or are we still in the 1800s?

love2hike
Call me old-fashioned or just shy, but I just don't feel comfortable asking a guy out until we've had a few dates.

sumcrzygal
Maybe not necessarily a "date" so much as meeting up for a frappacino or something (I don't really consider "coffee" a date). I mean, he's taken the plunge and asked you out once...

Guuuut
I like dates!Me too! I want someone to wine and dine me, spend lots of money, buy me expensive gifts (got my eye on a Coach purse) and make me feel special!!

love2hike
nope ... I'm independant enough to insist I pay half on first dates, or take turns when I see eachother more often. Nobody's gonna call me a golddigger!

kerplunkLYN
nope ... I'm independant enough to insist I pay half on first dates, or take turns when I see eachother more often. Nobody's gonna call me a golddigger!You are young aren't you!

pinstripe
got my eye on a Coach purseCoach sucks! No offense to all the Coach lovers out there.

Guuuut
No third date gold here.

love2hike
lol ... 24 ... will my attitude change with age?

Guuuut
Coach sucksFashionista Snob!!

kerplunkLYN
Guut you still coming up north or no? Are you just a big tease?

la_dolce_vita
if you keep on thinking about the guy, and he is not calling, then just call him yourself, you will get your answer right away instead of waiting around....just txt him one night, and ask him if he would like to meet up one night...is that so hard?? as for the coach purses, lol they have some nice ones, but for a bit more money you can buy a better brand (ie. prada, Michael Kors, Gucci)

pinstripe
as for the coach purses, lol they have some nice ones, but for a bit more money you can buy a better brand (ie. prada, Michael Kors, Gucci)I got to pick out the Coach purse I currently own, it was a gift...doesn't look like a Coach purse. I don't like the fact that the thread on the strap is coming undone, the purse is not even old just got it last year! I would rather purchase a Gucci, or Chloe. To the OP, i'm with you, a guy who doesn't call you after 2-3 dates after a seemingly good date...NEXT

E-Diva
I guess I like to be wined and dined too. Any guy who let me pay for anything on a first date would not be getting a second date. Although, I do make the fake reaching-for-my-purse-when-the-check-comes move. He just better tell me to put it away.

loving_lust
okay, i think i am agreeing with you on the whole guys part, but you can be friends with a guy, it isn't a crime. you never know if you guys will be better as friends. so chill out and one you can be patient or just be his friend, it sounds pretty dumb and immature that you are going to delete him just because he won't ask you back out on a date! you can still be his friend:)

Guuuut
Any guy who let me pay for anything on a first date would not be getting a second date. Red flag: high maintainence dates turn into high maintainence wives. If a guy is shoveling out lots of money for dates, don't be surprised if there is a greater expectation for s.ex in return. And I thought gsxr's third date standard was a little excessive, but in light of these posts, it makes sense.

Ann_E_Oakley
I think I need to agree with Loving lust's suggestion. give him a call and, worst case, be his friend. I hate to play devil's advocate, but something major could have happened in his personal or professional life. It may be a deal breaker as far as romance goes, but sometimes people turn out to be better friends than lovers.

Pocah323
I got to pick out the Coach purse I currently own, it was a gift...doesn't look like a Coach purse. I don't like the fact that the thread on the strap is coming undone, the purse is not even old just got it last year!Pinstripe, if you contact Coach, they will fix it for free. Either go to a Coach store (not the outlet stores) or go to www.coach.com. They're very into customer satisfaction.

Oh Kay
Coach sucks! No offense to all the Coach lovers out there.I think those are about the ugliest purses I've ever seen. And women get all hyped up about owning one. I don't get it.

Guuuut
It's not the purse, it's the status of owning an expensive purse. If you can own a Coach purse then you must be somebody.

DeliriouslyHappy
see...now i like kate spade

Oh Kay
Oh you are just **** me off. LOL! I'll give you Kate Spade.

DeliriouslyHappy
what...our honeymoon is over already?....oh man!

Oh Kay
You know, I am getting ready to go outside...quit **** on my posts! LOL!

DeliriouslyHappy
going outside?...to scream because im driving you mad...or...to get your shotgun because thats where you store it?we are in the hasty and harsh thread...

E-Diva
I really just see a guy who lets his date pay on the FIRST one as just being cheap. Once we've had a few dates, and I see it turning into a relationship, I will make a real effort to pay for things. I guess i like to be pursued.

Pershing Rifle
I personally see women that feel they shouldnt have to pay on the first date, or most dates for that matter as being cheap and lazy. Why should the male have to put in all the effort, for someone that may not even be interested in him?

Oh Kay
Hey pershing...can I get just a squirrel

Pershing Rifle
huh??

curiousasamonkey
Hey everyone! I haven't ever posted anything on here, but I occasionally read just to make sure I'm not the only crazy person in this world! I'm not even sure who asked the original question, but I think it's a bit hasty to totally write the guy off just because he hasn't asked you out on a second date. I met a guy through eHarmony about 3 1/2 months ago, and we haven't even met in person yet! About a month into things, I traveled to Europe, and not long after I noticed that I was hearing less from him. Initially I got my defenses all up, only to find out that he had just found out that his company is making cutbacks and he's being laid off. So here I was being a B**** and he just needed some understanding. We still haven't met because he's still working the whole job situation. Do I get frustrated? Yes! But this is just part of having an adult relationship...major life occurrances get in the way, and we can either take it easy and just let whatever happens happen or we can get all wound up about it and try to make things happen!

Goose71
after a date you get 2-3 days to call me, if you don't, I'm moving on. Really, cause some guy should re-arrange his schedule for you after one date.

therearenowords
Seriously???? 2 to 3 days or he's done?It sounds as though you may be a bit insecure and you don't like the feeling when you are not sure if a guy likes you. Not that anyone likes that feeling, but well.. you must really hate it to make such a harsh rule.Sorry to hear it.