am i dense?

fun gal
Okay, so this guy has been completely flirting with me, finally asked me out--we have a 3 hour lunch, that would've been longer if he didn't have a meeting to go to.....lingered before he left, and the awkward moment came, where when we had to say goodbye, I gave him a hug, and in which he gave me a kiss on the cheek...one of those, not sure what to do with yourself moments....Anyway, now, he made a suggestion to get together casually for a run, in which i followed up on..but no response...then, he randomly, bumped into me a couple days later--completely took me by surprise.....and we've had a casual conversation....so from the befinning, he (and I) have always prefaced our emails as "friends", so i addressed him the same way--(until further notice...), however, no response.....am i dense or is this a clear signal he is not interested/

PNW_Woman
Maybe he was busy, and so couldn't join you for the run. Did the two of you set a particular date/time/place and then he disappeared?

fun gal
no. we didn;t have a set plan. it was something he mentioned when we were at lunch. so i mentioned it over the Thank you email, i sent him that day...he was very responsive. Nad said how much he Loved having lunch with me! am i obsessing about it too much?

Oh Kay
I think you are obsessing about it a bit. It was a lunch & a kiss on the cheek. I'm not saying that you should give up completely, but maybe find other things to do in the meantime. Like changing your handle in here. I'm sure you were trying to say "fun gal" but it came out looking like an infection you get under your toe nails. Seriously though, just keep busy doing what you normally do and see what happens. The ball is in his court at this point.

fun gal
yea, you're right. i was obsessing.okay.--the latest. he's doing the whole, "not sure what i'm doing later, but i may be in the City..." thing. Sounds non commital to me, but okay, so i have to do this dance. Ugh!So, I reply...."blah, blah,blah......i should be around, if you decide to drive in, ;let me know. I'd love to see you." SO, how's that for direct? maybe too much, but honestly, he's feeling things out, and so am I....Saga will continue... thoughts?

bbwroof
i am a bbw ,when my bf and i always has sth differfent from each other.we have no much time to be together .mostly ,i would like to surf online.thus i join a bbw dating site.it. very interesting .i live happier than before.

Oh Kay
So, I reply...."blah, blah,blah......i should be around, if you decide to drive in, ;let me know. I'd love to see you."I think I would've changed that to "well if you decide to drive in, let me know. If I don't have anything going on, I'd love to see you." Don't let him think that you have nothing going on in your life but waiting for him to show up.

fun gal
good advice. too late....okay, so i won't be so available, if there's a next time--shoot.

fun gal
i hope i didn't blow this...i reaally kinda like thiis guy...

Guuuut
If you ever go running with him, wear short shorts and tight top. Cleavage optional. That will send a message.

Oh Kay
i hope i didn't blow this...i reaally kinda like thiis guy...I don't think you did. Just take a breath, let things happen as they happen.

fun gal
alright then. thanks for the imput. -funny. we have run together many times before, so he def. has seen me close to naked--if you consider, sweaty, no make, jog bra and running shorts, after 17 mile run, attractive....

noquisi
I would back off. I don't think you should have jump all these hoops for some dude that doesn't seem to be all that interested. I'm sorry, but when a man is genuinely interested he makes some moves and doesn't leave anything up to to chance. He's making concrete dates and is calling. Let it go and go meet some other people. Don't allow yourself to wait for someone that really isn't worth waiting for.

fun gal
hard fact to swallow. but, you're probably right.Ugh.

fun gal
not that i'm trying to make excuses for the guy...but then why does he keep throwing out these "potentiial" things to do? ie; go for a run, may come into the City? Blah, bla, blah....would that be called stringing me along?

Guuuut
funny. we have run together many times before, so he def. has seen me close to naked--if you consider, sweaty, no make, jog bra and running shorts, after 17 mile run, attractive....I do, in fact, find this attractive. I would rather see a woman in her native state then all dolled up all the time. Who knows what you're actually getting.As Mae West said "Men go to bed with the fantasy and wake up with the reality"

fun gal
thanks Guuuut. my ego needed that, right about now...

Guuuut
If you can run 17 miles, then you must have a smokin' body! Don't fret.

fun gal
i think i look okay. he did pick me out of many other women that were out there....but who know. i thought the 3 hour lunch we had was a good sign...however, we are "just friends"...

Guuuut
Maybe it's just bad timing. Keep looking!

fun gal
it very well may be.he's a partner of a Firm,and the Co. just got aquired--so they Guy has been intereviewing +trying to do the dayto day stuff of maintaining his role, without drawing suspicion...

Oh Kay
i thought the 3 hour lunch we had was a good sign...however, we are "just friends"...Well sure you are, but that doesn't mean you're going to stay "just friends". A 3 hour lunch doesn't make you his girlfriend. Maybe he's trying to take things slow.

noquisi
Why must it be potential? Again, if he isn't making any concrete dates with you, don't waste your time or energy thinking about this man. You like him and you have hope, I understand that, but don't let it consume you. Break away from thinking or even attempting to pursue him, he's not all that and if you do you are giving him the upper hand of using the potentialness of going out as a way of keeping you at bay for when he doesn't have anything else better to do. Don't allow this chump to use you like that.

tmom628
personally, and perhaps I'm cynical, but, i think he's making these "maybe we can do this, maybe we can do that" plans incase nothing better comes up, and you're better than that. Run, girl, run in the oposite direction! you want someone who wants firm plans w/ you, and wants you for his own....not someone a potential FWB....

quickblade14
I think he sees you as a running buddy, f-buddy, etc. etc. etc. If we're in the same place and it's convenient..............

b lunted
i think y'all are just helping her obsess, just from different angles

PNW_Woman
Well, sounds like he may not be totally interested in the OP for dating. But still leaving the door open in case there's a chance in the future.

fun gal
i'd think so if i got that feel from him...but, really, i didn't....not to sound naive, buut do men behave this was at age 44?!

Guuuut
buut do men behave this was at age 44?!As QB has said, at 25 men see women as a precious commodity and make extra efforts to grab one. At 44 they see women in surplus and make no special efforts to get one.

fun gal
hmmm....not looking good 4 me...damn!i liked him too.

PNW_Woman
As QB has said, at 25 men see women as a precious commodity and make extra efforts to grab one. At 44 they see women in surplus and make no special efforts to get one. Ya know, funny thing you say - it's true. There was this 44 year old guy I met at POF, and I was interested in meeting him and getting to know him. Well, we IM'ed each other, emailed each other, texted each other - flirting, emailing, texting, but still no date. Just dragged on for months. I just felt like he was leading me on. So I gave up on him. Well, last Sunday he texted me a smile. Instead of texting back, I just ignored him. Then the following Wednesday he sent me a wink. I ignored that one too. Today he left me a text message: Want 2 meet? I ignored this one too. I'm anticipating an email a few days from today. Then I'll anticipate a phone call but no voice message. Then I'll anticipate a phone call with voice mail. What a playa - all this time I was IM'ing, texting, emailing, etc., he just strung me along. Now all the attention when I'm ignoring him

fun gal
sounds familiar. same guy?hope not. yea, it's weird. he texts, emails, but he won't call?! whats up with that? he has my call number/ i have his as well--i suppose he can same the same about me...as i haven't called either...why? b/c i'd rather have him make the first move.when he first started emailing me, he'd leave his office address, and eluded to lunch and coffee. i responded to the emaial, but not to the invitation to lunch or coffee...so finally, he asks me straight out--but through email. --out to lunch. ...that took a total of 2 weeks before that happened...we def. we enjoying each other's company-hence the 3 hour lunch the staff had to kick us out.....we were so engrossed in conversation, nwitheer one of us noticed they forgot to bring the Heirloom Tomatoe Salad---i only remembered, later that afternoon b/c i waas starving...we both barely ate the shared apperizers in front of us....anyway, can me a romantic, but i thought and felt we enjoyed each other's company, AND were mutually attracted on many levels--not just physically.

PNW_Woman
I think that this guy I corresponded with at POF is most probably seriously involved (sleeping together and meeting several times a week) but in a semi-exclusively fashion (meaning that the exclusivity "talk" hasn't happened yet, but she's not seeing anyone else while he's texting and winking at others). So I'm the recipient of his shallow winks after all. No wonder why he hasn't asked me out on a single date.

fun gal
hmmm, good point. yea, i sense there may be something in the periferral w/ this guy....but isn't there with everyone these days? i suppose that's why we've stayed on the subject of work,when we've conversed--frankly, yes, i'll be bummed out about this if i read this wrong...but i have no prob. moving on--i just don't have the patience for BS. And, if it goes any longer like this, i will surely get bored.

fun gal
2 days. no response.

kerplunkLYN
Have you ever heard of the dating match makers called JUST LUNCH? Well..they call it that for a reason!